My Core Belief Was in You

My Core Belief Was in You



You encouraged me
To walk into the ocean

I knew
That I'd come back to shore

Later, still wet, I walked
The Main Street median

In my short, blue swimsuit
Sleeveless T

Flip
Flops

Beer
Blasted

Horns
Blasting

Open
Container

And knew
Exactly

Nothing.

I allowed you to be
My lifeguard

My
Taxi

My bankroll
My backup plan

My designated, my trusted
Friend

My lack
Of responsibility

Of
Worrying

For a
Goddamned second

But
No.

You had just said that
Folk don't give up

Important ideals
After age twenty-five

Or
Something

But now
After being there

And being abandoned
Never having done it

To
You

You
Asleep

In the
Passenger seat

Not even drunk
Just

Without any
Willpower

To remain
Awake

For yourself
Certainly

For
Me

My belief
In humankind

Wavering
Again

It can't be
Relied upon

To ever do
The right thing

I might never again be
A happy spectacle

Might never
Relax

Trust
Or remember

That someone
Can care that much

Because no one can
But me

I will only remember
To wake up tomorrow and

To write this and then
To take another sleeping pill

And to sleep
Again

And if I walk
Anywhere

Into
The ocean

Onto the
Street

I may not be
Safe

You've convinced me
I will always be

Alone.

by Coke Brown Jr. -
as posted on Coke's Croaks -
www.cokescroaks.com